Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Thinking about things from a new perspective...

It always makes me a little sad when i think about the path my life could have easily taken. The easy path, the path of least resistance, the path to a future that i now wonder about. When this happens i am usually thinking about the fact that if i hadn't transferred last semester i would be a senior this semester, student teaching in the spring and graduating early from Anderson in June. Instead i'm a Junior with Senior credits, working my way through a new program with THREE years of college left to go, and looking forward to three {count them 1, 2, 3} years as a senior {LOL}... then i always realize i'm happier in my new major and even though i'm going to be a 5th year senior instead of a three year one I think life will be more what i want it to be now. I love history, and can't wait to be a high school history teacher in a few years. I'm happier at Lander even though i miss my friends and haven't had such an easy time making new one's here. I love Greenwood, I like that i just got a new job, and i like that my first clinical's in a highschool are going to be this semester. I can't wait. I'm grateful not to be an elementary major anymore, and i'm glad that i won't be teaching young children things like math, english, and science, I'll be able to focus on the subject i love and that means a great deal to me as a History buff and general fan of the subject. Other things in my life recently have caused me to adopt a new perspective on a lot of things. I have tried, unsuccessfully, not once but twice, to join a sorority at my new school, something that i have always wanted to do, but wasn't given the opportunity to do until last semester since my first college didn't have Greek life at all. I love the idea of Sororities, and i especially love everything that the one's here stand for. However after two failed attempts i will not be going through recruitment again. It's difficult for me to put myself out there for the judgement of others, and even harder for me to not let it bother me when things don't go my way. However through the last two failed attempts at recruitment i have grown to see even myself in a different light. I'm not bubbly, i don't have a winning personality, i'm smart, and i'm a little socially awkward {OK A LOT socially awkward} but i'm also a kind person, with a generous heart, and i care deeply for the people around me. However i also know that in the amount of time given to get to know one another during recruitment parties the only portion of my personality that shows through is my socially awkward side, no one gets the chance to see how i can be when i'm given time to get comfortable with them. It's something i'm going to have to live with until i can finally find a way to overcome it. But my new perspective has also shown me that I'm ok the way i am. I can't change who i am anymore than I can change the fact that i need glasses, or a zebra can change the fact that they have stripes. So here, at the end of my first blog with my new perspectives is a picture of me, happy and more than anything being nothing less than myself. {my mum took this two summers ago, and it is one of my favorite ones of me.}

Peace, Love, and Passion (for being different...)
Love always Nyki

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