Thursday, March 26, 2015

Treating my marriage like a dance...

It occurred to me recently that I blog about a lot of things, I blog about makeup, school, clothes, and friends. I blog about my cat, my family, and the things I hate... but what I never blog about is my marriage...

I'm sure your probably sitting there going "is she insane? she talks about her marriage all the time..." But do I really? 
I mean yeah... I have blogged about our wedding, our honeymoon, the places we have visited, and the fun things we do together, i've even blogged about the home we share; but none of those things are our marriage.

Those are all parts of our life together,  part of our story, but they aren't our marriage...

Our marriage is the million little things each day, the give and take, the team work, and the love that we share that's our marriage.



You may be wondering why my post is called "Treating my Marriage like a dance"...

I guess a more appropriate title would be treating my marriage like a waltz, In a waltz one person leads and the other person follows that lead. Just like every waltz, every relationship has a leader and a follower.  In our relationship for the first eight years I was the leader.

I'm not proud of that fact... But it is a fact. I am such a control freak, and when I met R and we started dating that didn't change. I'm the one who asked him out, the one who made the first move, and I was even the one who brought up sex for the first time. Sadly I was also the one who pushed him to ask me to marry him. Fortunately, he didn't when I begged. He waited to ask me to be his wife until he was ready and I'm so glad he did. Because that moment changed who was leading our dance.

When Ridge asked me to marry him something changed in me, I'm wasn't sure what it was at first. I didn't fully understand it, and honestly I wasn't sure if the change was permanent or if I was just so elated that I would be his wife soon that I forgot I cared about being in control.  But through our year long engagement and in the six months since our wedding I realized that the change in me is for the better, and that it's not likely to change back any time soon.

I defer to him, not saying I let R make all my decisions, because I don't. What I do is I consider him in making my decisions, and when he decides something for the both of us I respect that decision. Most importantly though I consider him personally now, and how my decisions affect our relationship or our marriage before I make them. 

It sounds like a little thing, giving another person consideration but honestly in a marrige it's the most important thing. Loving one another is too... but if you only think about your self and your needs then your marraige is in more trouble than you think... there is no place for selfishness in a marriage.

Just something to think about if you are married... or thinking about it?
What do y'all think? Am I just crazy?

Love Yall!
Tesla






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